wednesday. 11:05 am.
i’m trying to be happy
but i keep getting grasped by the clutches of sadness
when i remember how you just don’t care
and you probably won’t ever care
about me
or my happiness
ever again…
even if you do
it just won’t be the same.

thursday. 11:11 am.
for the first time in months
i didn’t wish for you
but believe me
i wanted to.

friday. 3:00 am.
i woke up to find our last conversation playing on a loop
i can’t sleep without hearing your voice
without wishing to relive that day just to change what happened
without missing what we had
without missing you
as i finally start to drift off to sleep again
i tell myself
that even if we are nothing now
it was an honor
a privilege
to have meant something
anything
to you at one point.

saturday. 7:35 pm.
you posted a selfie on twitter
i had to stop myself from liking it
but i couldn’t stop myself from going back onto your profile
and looking at it once more
i miss you.

sunday. 4:05 pm
i got a haircut today
i want to text you
or send you a selfie
like i used to be able to do
i want to ask you what you think of it
i want to ask if you think of me
i don’t
i won’t.

monday. 1:55 pm.
i had the weirdest dream last night
you were in it
the only part that wasn’t weird
was that even in my dream
you couldn’t be bothered to text me back.

tuesday. 4:57 am.
i’ve dreamt about you
every night
since you left
last night was no exception
and i am so
so tired
but i hope you’re sleeping well.

wednesday. 11:42 am.
whenever something happens
you’re still the first person i think to tell
i still have to stop myself every time
you’re the hardest habit
i’ve ever had to break.